


Rotten Flesh and Fresh Blood

by cwtchbuddy, Soapbubblesoul



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, Mates, Old vampire!Yifan, Romance, Slow Build, Supernatural Bonds, Time Skips, Vampire Turning, Young fledgling!Yixing, chosen mates, very minor side!Seho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-11-12 06:53:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cwtchbuddy/pseuds/cwtchbuddy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soapbubblesoul/pseuds/Soapbubblesoul
Summary: In a society where everyone loves humans, Yixing loves a vampire.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Code : A88
> 
> Fic by : Soapbubblesoul  
> Edit by : cwtchbuddy

⧜ 

The first breath Yixing takes after dying is gasping, struggling, as if the oxygen could still save him from the destiny he’s already fallen prey to. It’s the only response his body knows as disorientation hits him and he can’t tell up from down. He can _feel_ the adrenaline coursing through his veins, even when he has to discover later that it was nothing but an illusion, the rush akin to the aching of a phantom limb since his blood no longer flows through his veins.

Neither do his lungs require oxygen, but Yixing doesn’t stop gasping for air nonetheless as his entire body is shaking. He feels as if he’s on fire, but when he puts his hands to his arms, his skin feels like marble, cold to the touch. A scream builds up inside Yixing’s ribcage, but despite his rapid panting, his lungs don't seem to work right. The sound he manages to get out has nothing from the panicked cry of a wounded animal, and sounds like a distressed whimper at best.

"Take it easy."

A firm voice wafts from the shadows, and Yixing’s head spins quicker than his current state should have allowed him.

"You will be fine. The transition is a distressing process, but you’re doing well. There’s nothing to be scared about."

"Transition?" Yixing croaks out, his voice scratchy as if his vocal chords haven’t been used in weeks.

"I will explain, in due time. But first, you should rest."

Yixing doesn’t know quite what’s happening, but he barely manages to make out a human shaped silhouette before his head starts feeling heavy and he drifts out of consciousness.

⧜

Yixing has not been turned by his lover, which, he discovers, already puts him in a certain place in their society.

Some vampires consider it a honour, to be connected to their coven leader through blood. They also relish in the knowledge that they’ll get the chance to drink fresh blood, right from the source. That they’ll get to hold warmth, and softness, in their arms, even if only for a while before they get to spend eternity with their chosen one.

Other vampires are mournful that they aren’t turned lovers. Turned lovers are not alone at any point, they immediately have the other half of their soul around to ease the transition. They experience minimal disorientation because every instinct of theirs will latch onto their lover, who will guide them through every step. More often than not they have gone through extensive preparation already either way, and know what will await them. Most importantly, they don’t have to bear with the search anymore, to find their missing piece. A search that can take forever for some, so long that some give up at one point.

No, Yixing hasn’t been turned by his lover, he has been turned by his coven leader, a centuries old vampire going by the name of Huang Lei.

Huang Lei doesn’t turn many humans. In fact, Yixing is the first one in three centuries. Their coven is accordingly small, but, as Yixing quickly comes to learn, highly respected. An air of exclusivity surrounds them, due to Huang Lei’s selective nature when it comes to extending their ranks. Not that that is Huang Lei’s intention—he couldn’t care less about whether they come off as an exclusive high-society, and it’s not a ploy to make their coven special. He simply feels a responsibility towards anyone he turns, to every single vampire that comprises what he calls his family. They’re not just underlings meant to please their leader, they’re there to work together for the benefit of everyone.

Behind Huang Lei's back, it draws ridicule and mockery at times, how a vampire as powerful as Huang Lei is wasting all his potential. They call him soft-hearted, even weak, yet they're too cowardly to openly attack him either. There are always fights for prestige, and power, amongst the covens. They are fought both openly in battles meant to annihilate the coven leader and all their followers and through intrigues in the shadows, but Huang Lei never joins those battles, nor does he get drawn into them.

It means that Yixing's first few years as a vampire are quiet, peaceful ones. Huang Lei's coven has their residence hidden deep in the Scandinavian forests, away from vampires and humans alike. There is no drama or fighting, just a refugee for all vampires of Huang Lei's coven who want a period of calm in the maelstrom of passing centuries their eternal life has thrown them into.

A lot of Huang Lei's childes are old, very old, and have seen empires rise and fall, have seen society change fundamentally over and over again. Their old age means that all of them have found their mates already.

There aren't many vampires from Huang Lei’s coven that are staying in the residence, only about two dozens, but they guide Yixing well. One couple, Yanli and Zixuan, immediately takes him under their wing upon his arrival. Yanli is gentle, and patient, and she explains to him everything that being a vampire entails. She soothes him through the aches that being a new fledgling entails, as his body is still struggling with the changes it underwent. Yixing quickly grows used to her soft voice at the crack of dawn, when Yixing is supposed to go to sleep but can't get the turmoil inside his head to quiet down.

"It's okay, A-Xing," she whispers, her use of the endearment revealing how long it has been since she was turned. "We have all gone through this at one point. It will settle eventually. Until then, don't try to fight it. Once you make sense of them, those instincts will lead you to where you're supposed to be."

Yixing wants to ask her what she means by that, but always forgets about it when her presence eventually lulls him to sleep. Once he wakes up, the words will be gone from his mind.

Her mate, Zixuan, is less approachable. He looks at everyone with a thinly-veiled sense of disapproval, as if they're lower than him and not worth his time, the only exception being Yanli whom he looks upon with evident affection. His condescension doesn't seem to fit the type of vampires Huang Lei wants to surround himself with, and Yixing wonders if Yanli actually went against the coven leader's wishes when she decided upon Zixuan to be her mate and eventually turned him. It takes Yixing over a year to actually get through to Zixuan, and realise that he is actually just as full of warmth as his wife. He is just very, very bad at dealing with feelings. Not to say that he isn't incredibly prideful, but Yixing also gets to know just how protective he is of his family when Yixing foolishly wanders just beyond the boundaries of their territory.

His instincts aren't fully developed yet, so he fails to recognise the tugging of warning in his chest that tells him he's left the protection of Huang Lei's presence. Yixing knows something is off, but his curiosity drives him further into the unfamiliar surroundings. For the last five years, he has been surrounded by the same trees, the same hills and same clearings, has mapped out the same cliffs and river beds over and over again.  

The thrill of the new blinds him to the presence that approaches him, and in a flash he's slammed into the trunk of a tree with enough force that the bark behind his back splinters and the wood cracks. His human reflexes still catch up with him from time to time, when he isn't paying attention, and so he finds himself short of breath in shock, gasping even when he doesn't require air anymore.

Disorientation still has his head spinning when suddenly there's a voice just a hair's breadth from his ear. The hair at the back of his neck rise, and it takes Yixing a few moments to register that it's fear he's feeling, since his whole body recognises the overpowering dominance of whoever has held him pinned against the tree. Yixing stands no chance against the other vampire, his own power laughably mismatched. There is clear animosity oozing from the other, and Yixing, with how sheltered he has been in the years ever since his turning, can't do anything aside from freeze.

"My, my, look what we have here," the vampire's voice is deep and low, threat laced into every single syllable. "A little fledgling not knowing where he he should and should not step."

The vampire's eyes are glowing, and Yixing knows, with every fibre of his being, that this situation will not end well for him. He doesn't know why the other is attacking him, doesn't understand what he would gain from killing Yixing, but he is well aware that that is exactly the other's intent.  And with the other's overwhelming strength, it will be a very uneven fight, that's not in Yixing's favour at all.

"Any last words?"

Yixing frantically tries to get his brain to work, to come up with a plan of action that doesn't end with him torn to shreds but instead he just hangs there, paralysed. Perhaps he might get him out of the whole situation alive if he were to submit to the other vampire, promise his unquestioning obedience, but he could never betray Huang Lei like that. He owes this second life to him, so this life belongs to Huang Lei and Yixing can't just betray his own loyalty.

 _So you would rather die? Disappear? How stupid can you possibly be!_ A voice inside his head screeches at him, and Yixing can't recognise if it's a part of himself that's trying to stay alive, or the voice of someone he held dear in his human life.

Yixing doesn't even manage to come to terms with his impending perishing, let alone respond to the other vampire, since suddenly there's a feral growl coming from the undergrowth. The next second, the hand that had been pinning Yixing to the tree is gone from his chest and Yixing ungracefully crashes to the forest ground. Any vampire should have reflexes fast enough to prevent such a fall, but Yixing's limbs are liquid, and he can't catch himself in time.

His head is still reeling when his ears catch the sounds of fighting, and he looks up to see what is going on. He spots Zixuan standing opposite the other vampire, his teeth bared and his whole body tensed in a stance ready for both defence and attack.

"You better leave him alone, he has done you no wrong!" He hisses angrily, his body posing as a shield between the Yixing and the other vampire.

"And who are you, to think you can order me around? You both have wandered into my territory, it is my prerogative to kill you if I so wish to."

"What century do you think we are in?" Zixuan snarls, "Such archaic ways have long since been abandoned. The world no longer is a lawless hunting ground. If you dare to lay so much as a finger on him, you will come to dearly regret it." Crouching and readying himself for attack, Zixuan adds. " _I_ will make you regret it."

The other vampire tilts his head to the side, and narrows his eyes, as if Zixuan's words are a personal offence. Perhaps they are. Or perhaps he’s just gauging Zixuan’s strength because the next second, a terrifying grin spreads his lips.

"Oh, you think you can make _me_ regret? Aren’t you a funny one." His eyes hold no amusement at all, but they twinkle with a bloodlust that makes a cold shiver run down Yixing’s spine.

 _Run._ He wants to shout at Zixuan. _Get back to Yanli and leave me here, I’ll try to keep him long enough for you to get away._

_I can’t let you get killed for my carelessness._

But Yixing can’t get the words out. His whole body is frozen in a state of shock that renders him incapable of movement. He can only helplessly watch as Zixuan darts forward, the same time the other vampire lunges into attack. They crash together in a flash of bared teeth and feral growling, and even though everything happens so fast, Yixing sees it all unfold in slow motion.

Zixuan is not a weak vampire either, nor is he particularly young—he and Yanli are both over two thousand years old—and yet Yixing _knows_ that Zixuan is no match for the other vampire. He holds his ground, at first, but the other vampire’s attacks are relentless. Shivering, Yixing knows he should interfere, help, do _anything_ but stand rooted to the ground and watch as the other vampire tears into Zixuan bit by bit.

"You know, I could still let you go," the other vampire says, easily dodging one of Zixuan’s attacks and countering immediately.

A sickening cracking noise resounds from where his arm meets Zixuan’s torso, and Yixing is sure that a few of Zixuan’s ribs must have fractured from the blow. A low groan leaves Zixuan as he stumbles back a step. He is trying to not let his pain show, but his features are tense from the effort. His movements are getting increasingly uncoordinated as well. He is reaching his limit, and fast.

"Stop," Yixing whispers, hating how small his voice comes out when he had meant to shout it.

It doesn’t really matter too much, however, since of course he is still heard, even over the sounds of the fight.

Zixuan darts him a glance that tells him to shut up lest he draw attention to himself. His warning is in vain, however, since the other vampire has already turned to face Yixing. Amusement twists together with madness on the other’s features, and Yixing shivers again as his instincts scream at him how inferior he is to such an enemy.

It’s too late already to take the word back. As the vampire turns to him, Yixing knows that that is it for him.

"You want me to stop, little fledgling?"

A slowly spreading grin across the other’s features, as clear desperation creeps onto Zixuan’s.

"Leave him alone!" He exclaims helplessly, even as he struggles to stay upright. "I’m your opponent right now."

The vampire doesn’t even spare him a glance as he grabs Zixuan by the throat, lifting him off the ground. Zixuan doesn’t need to breathe, so the tight grip on his windpipe is not lethal, but without being able to take in ear, Zixuan is unable to talk. A ragged sound rips from his throat as he claws at the other’s hand, but his struggle seems useless.

"I should just rip out your vocal chords to get you to shut up," the vampire whispers, and if Yixing still had blood flowing through his veins, he would have blanched because he knows it’s not an empty threat.

"Stop!"

This time, it actually does come out as a shout, to his own surprise. The other vampire looks mildly surprised as well, but recovers quickly.

"As you wish," he says, and throws Zixuan with so much force that he crashes into the trees  standing at least fifteen feet away from them.

Yixing doesn’t even have a split second to be stunned by the other’s unexpected cooperation. He faintly hears Zixuan’s panicked "No!" but all he can see is the vampire lunging right at him, a deadly force that Zixuan can no longer stop.

Yet, the pain Yixing expects never comes. There is no hand buried in his chest to tear out his heart, no fingers digging into his throat to pull his head off his shoulders. Instead, he hears a clash so loud it startles all the birds around them. Yixing can almost feel the force of the impact, even though his own body was not involved in the collision.

"Stop," a voice says, but this time it’s not Yixing’s own, and it’s not Zixuan’s desperate one either.

The voice is calm, deep and composed, and entirely unfamiliar to Yixing.

A body is standing right in front of him, blocking Yixing’s sight and the other vampire’s attack. Yixing’s eyes haven’t even managed to properly focus on the back of whoever is protecting him, because the next second there is movement again.

The newcomer pushes the attacker away with one curt movement. It sends the vampire skittering back a good few feet before he comes to a halt again.

"What do you think you’re doing?" the vampire hisses in both displeasure and… is that disgust?

He’s got his teeth bared, and he is still oozing aggression so powerful it makes Yixing’s hair stand on end. The newcomer, however, seems barely affected at all.

"You said it yourself, he's nothing but a fledgling. He does not know what he is doing yet, and we don't kill fledglings." His voice remains entirely calm, but there’s an edge to it as if he just _dares_ the other to challenge him.

"What do you care? He’s not your coven, he’s not your business! Now, move out of the way!"

The vampire bares his teeth in threat, but suddenly he seems powerless in comparison to the opponent he’s faced with.

Yixing can only remember one single vampire he has ever met who is as powerful as the one standing _protectively_ in front of him right now. _Another coven leader?_ He wonders. But there are no other covens staying anywhere nearby, and why would he care what happened to Yixing and Zixuan in the first place.

"Just because I’m not in the same coven as them doesn’t mean I’ll stand by and let you kill for a flimsy reason. He’s a _fledgling_ , they can’t fully sense territories yet, he did not mean to transgress."

The other vampire snorts, a reaction utterly unfitting for the tenseness of the situation, especially considering that he’s the one in the disadvantage at the moment.

"So that’s how it is," he laughs but the sound is shrill and doesn’t hold a single trace of amusement, his voice full of disdain and mockery when he continues. "You can see as clearly as me how powerful this fledgling will be one day. Do you really buy Huang Lei's pacifistic bullshit? As if he doesn't choose his childes based on their potential power! Will you just stand by and watch as he collects enough power to wipe out all other covens with a snap of his fingers? You have everyone fooled, thinking you’re impartial when in reality you’re on _his_ side after all."

A bellowing laughter breaks from the vampire's throat once he's done spewing his accusations. Yixing has no idea what's going on, half of the words don't make much sense to him. Huang Lei is collecting power? He's readying himself for an attack? That doesn't fit at all with the image of the gently smiling man who sat by Yixing's bedside for hours on end, uttering soothing words while Yixing clawed at the bedding as the transition wrecked havoc in his veins.

If the newcomer is affected by the other's words, he doesn't let it show.

"Leave, and we can all go our separate ways. If you have an issue with Huang Lei, I suggest you approach him in person with it, rather than taking it out on his childes."

His voice allows no room for protest, and even though Yixing is no longer in immediate danger with the stranger standing protectively in front of him, his hair stands on end from the assertiveness emanating from the other. The attacking vampire looks reluctant to give in, but even with the madness etched into his features, he seems to retain some sense of self-preservation. No matter how powerful he might be, he is no match for the one demanding him to leave, and he knows.

The vampire bares his teeth but does make no move to attack. It’s an empty gesture, more out of protest than actual threat.  With a hiss, he casts eyes full of hatred on Yixing.

"You got lucky this time, little fledgling. The next time, you might have to fight your own battles."

And with that, he spins around and has disappeared into the undergrowth so fast that Yixing is almost inclined to believe he was nothing but an illusion, dissolving into thin air.

A gust of wind catches the branches of the trees around them, rustling them as it grabs Yixing's clothes and rustles his hair, hitting his face like a hand supposed to bring him back to his senses. He's still so struck by the surreality of the last few minutes—because it actually were only minutes that had passed, even though Yixing felt as if he had lived through several lives—that is takes him a few moments to remember how eerily silent Zixuan is.

Without another moment's hesitation, he darts out from behind his saviour's back and towards Zixuan. He clearly remembers Zixuan's panicked call, but that was the last thing he heard of him before the stranger interfered.

"No, no, no." Yixing whispers frantically as he crouches next to Zixuan's slumped shape.

Of course he hears no breathing, and no pulse thrumming beneath his skin either, and for a terrifyingly long second Yixing fears that the other is dead—for lack of a better word—simply because Yixing doesn't know how to check whether he's still alive.

"Don't worry, little fledgling." The deep voice comes from right next to his ear, and Yixing spins around. "He will be okay."

The newcomer has moved to stand close enough that he can observe Zixuan himself, his gaze fixed on Zixuan even while he speaks to Yixing. Without the immediate threat of being ripped to pieces, Yixing can finally take in the other's appearance. He is tall, almost a head taller than Yixing, and dressed all in black. Simple pants, a simple sweatshirt, and a jacket on top of it even though he obviously doesn't need it for the sake of keeping him warm. It’s a nondescript outfit, one that wouldn't draw a second gaze from any passerby. The same can't be said about the other's face, however.

In both his life and his existence as a vampire, Yixing had come across his fair share of good-looking people, and yet he can feel his non-existent breath get stuck in his throat at the sight of the other vampire. Yixing knows that all vampires are adorned with looks far exceeding mortals, simply because they are necessary to attract their prey—humans. However, Yixing has never seen a face this handsome before. Rather than only physical attraction, however, there is… something lodged in Yixing’s chest. It tugs at him, as if to try and push him closer to the body standing next to his. It feels profound, yet strangely feral, and Yixing finds himself choked up as his entire body goes through a dozen sensations at once.

 _It must have been the shock_. He will think to himself, later, when he's back at the safety of his coven's residence but at the moment Yixing just remains frozen with his gaze fixed on the other.

A tiny groan alerts him back to the presence of Zixuan, and like a bucket of ice water the sound washes away any and all traces of the weird feelings that had gripped Yixing, leaving only bone-deep guilt in their place. Zixuan is hurt— _because of him—_ and Yixing has the audacity to stand around, admiring a stranger's looks rather than helping him.

Without further ado he crouches down, but hesitates with his fingers just millimetres from touching Zixuan. He had planned to pick him up when a wave of doubt courses through him. What if he moves him in the wrong way, aggravating his pain or—worse—his injuries. Yixing has never thought of himself to be a hesitant person, always surging ahead with determination once he had decided on a plan. This uncertainty is unlike him, and Yixing isn't quite sure what to make of it. With a start, Yixing realises that his hands are trembling. He swallows, as if that would do anything to dislodge the sudden lump in his throat.

 _So stress affects vampires the same way it does humans_ , he thinks, and the next second wonders whether that's not actually the case, and it's just his body reacting to phantom limbs again.

A hand closes around his, bigger than his own, and Yixing looks up to find gentle eyes looking at him. Somehow, he feels settled and more restless all at once, then a wave of overpowering calm hits him. His eyes widen slightly, but his chest finally stills from where he had been taking gasping, entirely unnecessary breaths in his agitation. He has experienced a sensation like this before, when Huang Lei put him back to sleep after he first awoke as a vampire, but he always assumed that it was the prerogative of a coven leader to have such control over their childes.

Yixing half-expects his vision to go black in front of him, like it did so many months ago. He stays awake, however, and instead of everything fading into darkness, he suddenly feels as if he can see everything clearer. There is a new focus to his gaze, and Yixing blinks a few times in both surprise and an attempt to adjust to it.

"Calm, little fledgling. There's no need to be frightened anymore," the vampire whispers, somewhat superfluously since whatever trick he used has already dispersed all of Yixing's previous anxiousness.

Before Yixing can move to do so himself, the vampire has lifted Zixuan off the ground. He holds him up with one arm while his free hand hovers over his ribcage, eyebrows scrunched together in the slightest sign of concentration. Whatever he finds seems to ease his worry, because when he passes Zixuan into Yixing's arms instead, his expression holds no signs of distress.

"He is hurt, but he will recover. Take him back to your coven so he can be treated. You will be safe on your way. Edwin might be a madman, but he wouldn't dare follow you into Huang Lei's territory."

The vampire casts a glance around, as if to verify for himself that his words are true. He turns his body slightly away, ready to part with Yixing and the unconscious Zixuan he's carrying, and Yixing has the irrational desire to reach his arm out to grab the other's sleeve. Thankfully he manages to suppress the urge. What business would Yixing have, holding the stranger back from leaving?

Perhaps the other notices Yixing's reluctance to let him go, because he turns back around. "Be more careful, little fledgling. The next time there might be no one around to save you," he warns.

Yixing feels as if he has swallowed his tongue, so the only thing he can do is nod. The vampire inclines his head towards him, as if returning a bow, then urges him to get going since, while Zixuan's injuries aren't lethal, they aren't exactly trivial either.

That pulls Yixing's attention back to the situation at hand, and as if some spell is broken, he suddenly has control over his legs again. Adjusting Zixuan slightly in his hold into a more comfortable position, he bows slightly towards the vampire, then turns and runs.

He meets Yanli halfway back to the residence. Through their bond, she had clearly sensed that something was wrong with her husband. Still, she gasps when her eyes land on his form in Yixing's arms, and a hand flies to her mouth before she hurries over to their side.

"A-Li," Zixuan mumbles the moment Yixing has passed him to his wife's hold, as if immediately recognising her familiar presence even though he doesn't wake.

Together, they hurry back, the guilt in Yixing festering as he keeps darting glances at Yanli next to him. Worry is etched deeply into her face, and Yixing finds all words stuck in his throat, so they move in silence.

Only later, when Zixuan is lying in their bed, all bandaged up and with medicine in his system does Yanli seem to ease up a little. Yixing is tentative in entering the room, feeling as if he has no right to be there considering that it was his carelessness that put Zixuan into this state. Especially when he himself only suffered a few scratches, bruises and a few bruised ribs from the initial impact when the vampire had caught him.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, but Yanli still hears him.

She turns towards him, not letting go of her husband's hand, but her features soften visibly when she takes in Yixing's form.

"It's not your fault," she insists, as if she knew more about the situation than the very rough explanation Yixing had managed to give when they arrived back and hurried to find some of their coven's healers.

It is his fault, Yixing is very much aware of that and he's only glad that Zixuan is alive. Even like this he can barely bring himself to face Yanli.

"A-Xing, don't look like that. It's really not your fault," she repeats, and when her gaze falls back to her husband, the fondness on her features almost makes Yixing feel as if he's intruding on an intimate moment. "A-Xuan comes across as unapproachable, but he actually cares a lot. Of course he would defend you, just like I know you would defend him."

She says it with so much determination that Yixing is momentarily rendered speechless. Of course he would, without hesitation, but he still didn't expect Yanli to have such trust in his loyalty. He wants to apologise again, but doesn't. Yanli is the one who is sitting beside her unconscious husband, she should be comforted rather than having to be the one doing the comforting. So Yixing swallows down the words and instead moves a chair to sit next to her. His company might not be much, but it's all he has to offer at the moment and when Yanli takes his hand, he wonders if perhaps it is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic ended up getting a lot longer than intended, so I will (try to) post a chapter every other day!  
> Also if you recognised the two cameo characters, pls hit me up (once reveals are over) because I need more people to flail about mdzs with!


	2. Chapter 2

A few months pass before Yixing sees Yifan again.

He's out in the forest, together with some other vampires from his coven when he spots him. He found out his name from Zixuan, when he awoke and gave his own account to Huang Lei of what had happened. Aside from Yifan's name, he doesn't know much about him, however.

"He likes the solitude," one of his coven siblings whispers at him, as if Yifan's ears aren't good enough to catch the bat of a butterfly's wing from the small clearing on the other side of the forest, or the waves crashing against the shore that's one hour on foot away. "It's why Huang Lei has chosen this place as well, and Yifan tolerates it. This used to be his territory first, but Huang Lei and Yifan hold a lot of respect for each other, so he never minded Huang Lei moving his coven residence here. Supposedly they even meet up every now and then, but I've never seen it personally, so that might just be a rumour."

Yixing hums lowly in his throat as his gaze stays fixed on Yifan. He's moving with the elegance of someone long used to the deadly strength and agility that being a vampire brings with it.

"He doesn't have a coven?" Yixing asks, acutely aware of the fact that Yifan can hear his question even from where he's disappearing in the distance.

The vampire next to him shakes his head. "He is at least as old as all the other coven leaders, perhaps older even, but they say that when the covens were forming, he chose to remain on his own. Nobody really knows why, or at least if there are people who do, they keep the reason to themselves."

"No mate either?"

Yixing doesn't quite know why he asks the question. _Curiosity,_ he reasons, all too well aware that that is not the emotion swirling inside his chest. It's a justified question still, he argues with himself. In Huang Lei's coven, all vampires who haven't found their mates yet are younger than five centuries. Yixing doesn't know a single one as old as Yifan who is still on their own, so it _is_ a natural thing to ask.

"No, no mate either, he never chose a lover to turn. He is on good terms with most of the coven leaders, so he sometimes stays with other covens for a few decades or even centuries, but in the end he keeps to himself. Some say he used to search for his mate, but gave up eventually when he couldn't find them. Others say he never showed any interest in finding a human lover to begin with."

 _Isn't he lonely?_ Yixing can't help but wonder, still facing towards where Yifan's silhouette has long since disappeared behind the horizon.

⧜ 

Yixing asks everyone in his coven about Yifan.

Everyone.

Zixuan scoffs at him, and tells him to go bother someone else with his stupid crush. Instead of shying away immediately at the harsh dismissal, Yixing grumbles that he doesn't have a _crush_ , he's simply _curious_ and turns to Yanli instead. To his dismay, she is doing a very bad job at hiding her amusement, clearly agreeing with her husband's assessment. At least she doesn't rub it under Yixing's nose.

So, Yixing leaves them both and seeks out Lu Han instead. The vampire is young. "Young" for their coven which, in Lu Han's case, means four centuries old.

Considering how seldom Huang Lei turns vampires, their coven doesn't have many members to begin with, and Yixing is the youngest _by far._ Aside from him, there are only three more young vampires living in the residence, and out of all of them, Yixing gets along best with Lu Han. Perhaps it is because the other also is of Chinese heritage, which makes him feel more familiar to Yixing.

"What do you want to know?" Lu Han is lounging on one of the armchairs in one of the common areas of the mansion and Yixing sits down opposite of him.

"Are there many vampires without a coven?" Yixing asks, figuring that he might just as well ease into the conversation rather than jump to Yifan right away.

The glint in Lu Han's eyes tells Yixing that the other knows exactly where this conversation is heading but he doesn't mention it. Not yet, at least.

"Not that I know of. A coven means stability and protection, so very few vampires choose to reject it. Over the centuries, there's so much change but covens provide a constant that many of us find reassuring. Also, you can feel it yourself, can't you? We have a special bond with whoever turned us. Leaving the coven would be going against that bond, which is not an easy thing to do."

Yixing's instincts are still not fully developed, not enough for him to make perfect sense of them. Yet he knows what Lu Han is talking about. Turning his back on his coven, on Huang Lei—he knows that every fibre of his being would reject the idea.

Since Lu Han knows what, or rather who, Yixing is actually aiming the conversation at, he figures there's no use in hiding it either way.

"Why is Yifan on his own?"

To that, Lu Han simply shrugs. "I don't know. Because he chose to be, I heard, but why he chose that? I have no idea. I haven't really talked with him before. He's not exactly the type to, you know, mingle."

Yixing didn't really expect Lu Han to know the answer, so he simply hums.

"You could ask Huang Lei. If anyone knows the answer, it's him."

Lu Han has a point.

"He is content on his own." is what Huang Lei tells him when Yixing approaches him with the question.

The coven leader regards Yixing with a warmth and kindness that still makes Yixing fidget a little. Huang Lei is one of the oldest and most powerful vampires to walk the face of the earth these days, and yet he always remains approachable. He _cares_ , about every single vampire belonging to his coven.

"I was a few centuries old when he was turned but I don't know quite what happened," Huang Lei elaborates without Yixing needing to prompt him. "It were rough, chaotic times, before the covens were formed. There was a lot of fighting going on, small alliances forming just to be torn apart within a mere decade. Yifan never was a fan of those fights. I don't know for sure but I think that's why he decided to simply stay away from others. And even when things settled down, he sticked to his ways."

Yixing nods along, slowly. It makes enough sense, and Yixing is grateful that Huang Lei doesn't ask him about why he wants to know all those things. Though, the other is wearing a knowing smile when Yixing thanks him. It's just the tiniest bit unnerving but Yixing decides not to dwell on it.

Yixing can't fully explain what it is, but something draws him to Yifan. He reasons that it is because Yifan saved his life and because Yifan is different from other vampires. He wanders around on his own, not even searching for a mate. There is very little known about him, since he keeps to himself all the time.

He is a mystery, waiting to be solved.

Yixing is intrigued, and rather than waning, that feeling only seems to grow over time.

⧜ 

So, Yixing goes to find Yifan, and, surprisingly enough, Yifan lets himself be found.

It has become something of a routine for Yixing, to seek out Yifan. Sometimes he goes to see him multiple times a week, and sometimes he doesn't see him for months. He guesses that with how many centuries Yifan already has under his belt, a few months have no meaning for Yifan either way.

"I never properly thanked you," he says by means of greeting, sitting in a tree above Yifan's head with his legs swinging back and forth.

He's five now. Of course, he's not _actually_ five, he's thirty, technically, but it has been five years since he was turned and it shows in his boisterous behaviour. He's still in the phase where his strength leaves him awed, wishing to test his own boundaries and feeling as if he could seize the world.

Of course he is aware that that is a fallacy, conjured up by his brain. It's all too obvious when he's with Yifan. The older vampire's strength is usually concealed, like a cat with its claws sheathed but Yixing has never forgotten the power that oozed off of him during their first encounter.   

"There was never any need for thanking me," Yifan replies, craning his neck to look up at Yixing who flashes him a wide grin in return before hopping down.

He lands right in front of Yifan, not even an arm's length between them, but Yifan doesn't even so much as twitch.

"Of course there is! You saved my life. Mine, and Zixuan's," Yixing explains, before turning pensive. "Although he doesn't want to admit it. He keeps claiming that he would have been fine on his own."

When they first met, Yixing was convinced that Yifan's only expression was perpetual anger or displeasure, but he quickly came to learn that Yifan in fact was full of emotions dancing over his face.

"I am not surprised to hear that," he says, amusement twinkling in his eyes as he snorts.

"But anyway, I feel like I should thank you properly! I would take you out for dinner but I know you hate the town." Yixing ponders, as if he doesn't already have a plan formed in his mind.

With an arched eyebrow, Yifan regards him in a way that makes it obvious he knows there's more to come. Rather than keeping up the act of trying to think of something, Yixing grabs Yifan's hand.

"Here, come with me," he says, and turns around to head off towards north.

All the time, he keeps holding onto Yifan, and Yifan simply accepts it, not even trying to reclaim his hand.

"This is my 'thank you' to you," Yixing declares when they come to a halt eventually.

They are standing at one of the rough edges of the island, where the floor suddenly drops away in a sharp cliff. In the place Yixing has dragged Yifan to, the ground protrudes slightly over the ocean. A few hundred meters below them, the waves are angrily crashing against the stones.

Yifan looks around them, then faces Yixing with clear confusion written over his features, mixed with a tiny bit of wariness. "And _this_ is…?"

Yifan gestures vaguely with his hands, not even knowing where he should point at. It's the cue Yixing has been waiting for, so he spins around and faces the ocean.

" _This_ ," He repeats, putting special emphasis to the word as he spreads his arms to present the cliffs to Yifan. "Is my secret spot. And as a sign of gratitude, I'm sharing it with you."

Yixing is well aware of the ridiculousness of the situation. This has been Yifan's territory since before Huang Lei even moved his coven here. Which means Yifan has lived here already centuries before Yixing was even born. For Yifan, there are no "secret spots" anywhere in this forest, on this _entire island_ , most likely. He knows every single millimetre of it, has touched every single rock and tree and flower. Even deprived of all his senses, Yifan could still move through the forest without hitting a single plant or stumbling into a single river.

And yet, Yifan doesn't call Yixing out on it. He does arch one of his eyebrows again, though.

The playful mischief in Yixing's laugh makes way for more genuine excitement. His plan isn't over yet, and he actually does have something in mind that Yifan might enjoy. Hopefully.

"Actually, that's not my only thank you," Yixing says, and reaches up to start unbuttoning his shirt.

Yifan's second eyebrow goes up to join the first, and his mouth moves around words that refuse to come out. He looks a bit like a fish that's been thrown onto land, and it makes Yixing laugh. Yifan looks simply adorable when he's flustered.

One would think that it would be near impossible to discompose a vampire who's existed for several millennia, but for all his stone-faced facade, Yifan is quite expressive once you get to know him.

"What are _you_ thinking of, I meant that we're gonna go swimming!" Yixing teases with a bright grin.

(At the same time, he tries his hardest to ignore the heat that rushes through his veins at how Yifan's eyes linger on his body just the tiniest bit too long. They don't have _that kind_ of relationship.)

"Swimming," Yifan repeats, deadpan, once his eyes settle on Yixing's face again.

"Yes," Yixing confirms, then adds, "Or, more precisely, we're going to _jump._ "

Yixing's worries that Yifan had already jumped off the cliffs before disperse immediately when he sees Yifan's disbelieving expression. His face pretty much shouts _why?_ even without him saying anything.

"You will love it, I promise. It's like, the closest thing to flying you can get. Without, you know, going sky-diving."

"Yixing, flying means going up. _This_ is falling down."

"Flying also includes dropping down! Have you never watched a hawk hunt?"

Yifan remains unconvinced.

"What if you hit a rock?"

"Then I feel sorry for that poor rock, I guess."

"Yixing, you are _strong_ , not _unbreakable_."

"What are you _scared_ of, Yifan?" Yixing laughs, but it's good natured, and Yifan doesn't seem offended by it. "I am not unbreakable, I know, but I won't be broken by a rock."

Yifan, millennia old Yifan, a vampire so strong that he could take on several coven leaders, is hesitant to jump down a few hundred meters into the ocean. Yixing isn't quite sure what is holding Yifan back, but he is not going to give up just that easily. This is harmless fun, and Yixing is convinced that Yifan is going to enjoy himself too.

"You can go back to being a serious, composed vampire again after this but for now just join me. I _promise_ it will be fun. Haven't you always wanted to get a taste what flying might be like? This is your chance."

"…I've always wanted to fly," Yifan admits after a beat of silence, his eyes cast towards the sky rather than the ocean.

Something swells in Yixing's chest at the look on Yifan's face, but he quickly pushes the feeling away and sets into action instead.

"Then come on!"

In less than a minute, Yixing has stripped out of all his clothes until only his boxers are left. He _feels_ the coldness of the wind hitting his skin, but it doesn't affect him. It's more like a small post-it note arriving in his brain, with a short _this is cold_ written on it, rather than the all-encompassing bodily sensation he was used to as a human. It's for the best, since else he would be freezing to death before he would get the chance to enjoy the jump.

Wordlessly, Yifan follows suit—and Yixing decidedly _doesn't_ ogle. And if he does, it's not _his_ fault that Yifan is built so perfectly. Yixing is just… admiring his strength. All the deadliness hidden in those lean muscles that sculpt Yifan's torso.

Yixing _knows_ that he can't blush, but he swears his cheeks are burning. So, to distract himself, he concentrates on the situation at hand again.

He looks right at Yifan, and flashes his teeth in the boyish grin he knows makes people want to smile back at him.

"Just because we're dead doesn't mean we can't _live_ a little _!"_

And with that, he takes a run-up, darts towards the edge of the cliff, and jumps.

⧜ 

In fact, death, Yixing can't help but wonder, feels very much _alive_.

"Well that's because we're not dead, stupid." Luhan laughs when Yixing tells him about it. "An awfully narrow-minded definition of alive, don't you think? To have a beating heart."

And Yixing can't help but agree with him. His pulse might have stopped, but that doesn't stop him from moving, from thinking, from _feeling_.

It has been ten years since he first met Yifan, and their friendship has fallen into a comfortable routine. Everyone knows that if they want to find Yixing, they have to find Yifan, and vice versa. Most of them look upon them with fond amusement, as if Yixing is a puppy constantly yipping at Yifan's heels. Yixing can't even argue with them, when in fact he knows they are not entirely off.

They are friends, Yixing would say. Yifan must enjoy his company in some way, or he wouldn't entertain Yixing's excited ideas the way he always does.

Yet, Yifan remains vaguely distant. Perhaps it's the endless stretch of time that stands between them. Yifan has lived for multiple millennia, while Yixing hasn't even completed a quarter century. Yifan has seen and experienced so much more than Yixing can even begin to imagine. Of course that must make it difficult for him to connect with Yixing, in all his clueless naivety.

And still, Yixing keeps seeking out Yifan, because he has accepted that he can't stay away—and he wouldn't want to either. Being around Yifan makes giddy excitement course through Yixing's veins that after all those years, he still can't place. Sure, it would be easy to say it is a crush, that Yifan saved him and Yixing has been enamoured with him ever since. But that's not what he's feeling.

Were he still human, he would have immediately jumped to the conclusion that he must be crushing on Yifan. As a vampire, however, it doesn't seem to fully capture what's going on. He's not _in love_ , of course not, but _crush_ sounds way too superficial for whatever it is that being around Yifan awakens in Yixing. It's something _deeper_ , and foreign, and somehow it scares Yixing to try and decipher its meaning.

So he doesn't.

He simply accepts it as it is, not fighting the pull that guides him to Yifan and also not questioning it.

⧜ 

To Yixing's surprise, time doesn't flow different for vampires. When he heard about them as a human—at that point still naively believing they were nothing but figments of overactive imagination—he always assumed that a hundred years for a vampire would feel like a single week for a human. That actually is not the case, Yixing finds. A day still has 24 hours, and a week still has seven days, and some days Yixing still finds himself watching the clock ten times within an hour, just to find that it hasn’t even been five minutes since he last checked.

In the beginning, at least. For the first five years, Yixing can't tell a difference at all to when he was still human, but as he keeps collecting years, he notices changes. It's not if time got a huge push the moment he was turned, suddenly rushing past him with gained momentum as he helplessly tries to hold on. But as his memories start blending into one, and his routine consists of the same environment, nearly the same people and same activities every day, it does indeed feel as if time keeps accelerating around him.

Within one blink, _years_ have passed, and somehow, even knowing that he will never "run out" of time, it deeply scares Yixing. Perhaps it's a remaining figment of his humanity, that dreads the passing of time as a reminder of his mortality. There’s no way for him to "waste" time because he has a never-ending supply of it at his hands—and yet Yixing feels as if that's exactly what he's doing.

One night, Yixing wakes, shaking but with a sudden resolution.

He finds Yifan that night, just as he always does. He used to only see Yifan every now and then, but for a many years now, they've barely gone for more than a few nights at a time without meeting.

Yifan greets him with a smile that only ever Yixing gets to see, as he remains the stone-faced vampire around everyone else. It immediately wavers however when he takes in the expression on Yixing's face.

"What's the matter?" Yifan asks as Yixing comes to a halt in front of him.

Yixing can be very serious, yet this quiet it uncharacteristic of him. He knows what he wants to do, _has_ to do, but he doesn't quite know how to tell Yifan. Whatever it is that they share, Yixing is about to disrupt their routine.

So instead of answering, he shakes his head as an indication that he doesn't want to talk about it. Not yet. And Yifan accepts his silence as he always does, simply falling into step next to him as Yixing makes his way into the forest to hunt.

They remain silent for the rest of the night, and its only when they have nearly returned to his coven's residence that Yixing finally gathers the courage to speak.

"I'll go to the city," he blurts out, causing Yifan to come to an abrupt halt and spin around.

Yifan looks surprised for all of a split second, then he schools his features into an expression Yixing finds impossible to read. _Years,_ a decade and then some, in fact, and he still can't fully decipher Yifan. Something about that doesn't sit right with Yixing.

"I see. Which city?" Yifan asks, his voice giving away just as little as his face does.

"I-I don't know yet," Yixing laughs, fidgeting under the other's intense gaze. "London, perhaps? I haven't decided."

He needs a change of scenery, that much Yixing knows. This routine, it's what makes the days run into each other in his memories because they literally are all the same. Yixing needs to break the circle, and this is the only way he can think of.

Yifan hums lowly, but Yixing can't quite tell if it's an approval of his choice or an acceptance of his decision.

"Do you want to come with me?"

Yixing hadn't meant to say that. In fact, he hadn't even be thinking about that, the possibility of Yifan accompanying him. His eyes widen in shock when he hears the words spoken, in his own voice, and embarrassment rises hot to his neck in the same kind of phantom blush he can't seem to shake, even after so long.

"I mean- you don't have to! This is your territory and I know you've been here for so long, I just- I thought I should, you know, offer, and—" he is rambling, trying to find a way to downplay the weight of the offer.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

The question catches Yixing mid-sentence and immediately silences him, but he nods before he can stop himself.

Yixing doesn't actually expect Yifan to say yes. In fact, he gapes at Yifan speechlessly when he does, indeed, agree to come with.

"What?" He asks once he has regathered a semblance of his bearings.

"I'll come with you. When do you want to leave?"

Yixing, still staring at Yifan, takes a solid minute before he finds his voice again.

"I still have to tell Huang Lei and the others, and organise everything. So, next week? In two weeks? I don't know, this is my first time moving as a vampire."

Yifan simply nods, as if it's a done deal, and resumes their way towards the residence. Yixing, still dazed, follows behind him.

What Yixing has learned over the years is that yes, Yifan tends to be alone. Lonely, however? Not so much, Yixing would say.

Yifan seeks company when he wishes for it, and avoids it when he doesn't. Yixing likes to think that he knows Yifan better now than most, and the "He likes the solitude." he was told back then is still the most accurate description of Yifan.

Yifan is not a fan of large groups of people, especially those he's unfamiliar with. He does enjoy being around those he's close with, and, somehow, Yixing seems to have earned himself a spot amongst those ranks. And going to the city, especially one as huge as London, means tons of people and vampires around them. It will be a stark difference to their time in the remote Scandinavian forests and Yixing does not quite understand why Yifan so easily agreed.

"A change of scenery doesn't sound like the worst idea," Yifan replies with a shrug when Yixing asks him, the night they buy train tickets.

Yixing can sense that that's not all there is to it, but he doesn't push. Part of Yixing hadn't wanted to ask, afraid that Yifan might change his mind when asked to think about the reasons behind his rash decision. So he simply accepts Yifan's noncommittal response.


	3. Chapter 3

When Yixing was still human, he lived in Changsha. He was born there, grew up there, went to school and university there and never left the city for more than a few weeks of vacation. Changsha is huge, loud, crowded, full of a constant thrum of life. It’s the kind of environment Yixing is used to, or at least that’s what he thinks.

London has _nothing_ on Changsha, it’s a quiet village plunged in darkness in comparison, and yet Yixing finds himself overwhelmed with _everything_. The noise, the smell, the lights, the _people._ He can’t handle any of it.

The moment they step off the train, Yixing latches onto Yifan’s arm before he even knows what he‘s doing. His fingers dig into Yifan’s flesh, and if they’d still been human, his grip would definitely have left bruises, perhaps even drawn blood. If it pains Yifan, he doesn’t let it show. Most likely he doesn’t even feel it anyway. With Yixing’s strength being far inferior to Yifan’s, there’s little harm he can do to the older vampire.

Yixing is eternally grateful that, for whatever reason, Yifan decided to join him. There’s something about Yifan’s presence that calms Yixing. He isn’t sure whether Yifan is doing that _thing_ again, the one he did back when they first met and Yixing was shaking from shock. Ever since that day, Yixing has been meaning to ask Yifan about what exactly he did, but somehow he never knows how to bring up the topic. Perhaps because, deep down, he’s wondering what if would mean if Yifan told him that he was, in fact, not doing anything special.

„Let’s get you somewhere quiet,” Yifan whispers, and pulls Yixing into his side with an arm slung around his shoulders.

Without even thinking, Yixing’s arm slips around Yifan’s waist as he presses closer, as if he wishes to disappear into Yifan’s body. In some way, he manages to. As long as he concentrates only on Yifan’s presence, everything is a bit more bearable.

Yixing has no idea where they are heading, he just blindly follows Yifan as he directs them through crowds of people and brightly lit streets. His head is throbbing, and Yixing just wants it to stop. It does, eventually.

They have entered an apartment, and Yixing has no clue where it is but he also couldn’t care less. All he cares about is that Yifan is right next to him, whispering calming words while keeping Yixing close to him. They have laid down on the bed, and Yixing curls around Yifan. Yifan, in turn, winds his arms around Yixing, as if to shield him from the world around them.

It helps.

Yixing doesn’t quite sleep. Instead, he keeps drifting in and out of consciousness. His mind refuses to come to rest properly, but when Yixing eventually opens his eyes again, he feels better nonetheless. Which, admittedly, still isn’t _good_.

Yifan is still by his side, lying next to him and watching Yixing with an indecipherable look in his eyes. Upon noticing that Yixing is awake, he gives him a gentle smile and brushes away the bangs that stick to Yixing’s forehead. Yixing wasn’t aware that vampires can sweat, but apparently they do.

„I’ll go get you something to drink,” Yifan says, and pries Yixing’s tightly gripped fingers from his arm with gentle motions.

Yixing’s first instinct is to resist, to clench tighter rather than to let go. Instead of getting upset or exasperated at Yixing being unreasonably clingy, Yifan simply puts on the most reassuring smile Yixing has ever seen on him. „I’ll just go to the next room, I’ll be back before you know it.”

Obediently, Yixing nods, and forces his hold to relax until his hands fall away from Yifan’s arm.

Once Yifan is gone, Yixing busies himself with looking around the room. The memory of how the got here is a blur, and he doesn’t recognise his surroundings either. Huang Lei’s coven owns a few apartments in London, and Yixing had looked through all of them with Yifan, before they decided on where they wanted to stay.

The room around Yixing is kept very simple, all the furniture made from plain wood with little decor. Aside from the bed he is lying in, there is a cupboard standing at the wall next to the door, and a small desk with a single chair is resting next to the window. That’s it. This is definitely not the place they had picked for living, and Yixing is rather certain it‘s not one of Huang Lei‘s apartments altogether.

„It’s an old hideout of mine,” Yifan explains when he walks back in, clearly reading the confusion on Yixing’s face.

Yixing accepts the tea he’s offered with a grateful nod, and Yifan settles on the bed next to him. The creaking of the wooden frame makes Yixing wince slightly, which, in turn, makes Yifan’s forehead crease.

„It can all be very overwhelming, I know,” he acknowledges.

Yixing hums lowly. „Why are we here?”

„Because it is quiet and remote. Once you’re a bit more settled we’ll move to your coven’s apartment. For now, I figured that this place might be better for you. We’re in the outskirts of the city, there should be less noise and stench here than in the centre. It should be easier for you to adjust while we’re here.”

Yixing nods, and something warm blossoms in his chest at Yifan’s words.

He empties the cup, and, feeling calmer yet still terribly exhausted, he places it on the bedside table and lies back down. Without a word, as if it is the most natural thing to do, Yifan moves to rest next to him. Perhaps this is something common, for young vampires to be overwhelmed by everything they can sense, and for older vampires to comfort them like Yifan does comfort him right now. Yixing doesn’t really care. He simply curls into Yifan’s side again, and this time, he does drift off to sleep.

⧜

The apartment is _tiny._ There isn’t even a living room. Other than the bedroom cum study, there only is a bathroom and a kitchen. The table with two chairs standing in the kitchen next to the stove, fridge and sink is the only other sitting area aside from the bed. The apartment very clearly was intended just for Yifan, and a single person does not need a lot of space.

„I’m sorry, there is only one room,” Yifan apologises when he shows Yixing around.

 _I am sorry you will have to share the room with me rather than having one of your own,_ is what Yixing reads from his words and the cautious expression on Yifan’s face.

„That’s okay,” Yixing says, a small smile on his lips. „It’s a nice apartment.”

It is not the kind of place Yixing would have chosen to live in if he had been asked before their arrival, but he does find it very soothing now. All the furniture is so _simple_ , made from the same kind of wood, cut in clear shapes. There is nothing about it that would catch the eye, and that is precisely why Yixing finds the sight so comforting. More important, however, is Yifan’s presence that is practically oozing from every nook and cranny of the place.

And secretly, Yixing is quite happy about how small the apartment is. He is enjoying Yifan’s proximity, always has, and now he has an excuse to stay even closer. Since there also is only one bed, they keep sleeping next to each other. It’s an arrangement they settle into wordlessly, neither of them offering to sleep on the floor. In fact, most often Yixing finds himself gravitating towards Yifan in his sleep, and Yifan never pushes him away. It feels natural, effortless, the way they just fit.

Yixing clings to Yifan because of the pull he’s felt since the day he first met the other, but that‘s not all there is to it. Being close to Yifan makes the chaos in his head subside. It almost reminds Yixing of when he was first turned, and Yanli’s soothing hands stroking his hair would make everything go quieter around him. Just that the effect Yifan has on Yixing is stronger by a magnitude Yixing wouldn’t even know how to put numbers on. It’s like comparing a puddle with the ocean.

⧜

When they arrived, and Yixing found himself knocked right off his feet, he expected to adjust within a few nights at most. That is, in fact, not the case, and Yixing doesn’t quite know why it is taking him so long.

They’re on a walk, almost two weeks after their arrival. It’s just that, a simple walk, but it requires so much energy from Yixing that he feels as if he is attempting the Iron Man contest—before acquired his vampiric strength and without any training. He is shivering and on the verge of sensory overload, but Yifan’s presence is enough of an anchor to keep him going.

„So much for being a big city child,” Yixing jokes weakly at his own state, his voice shaking slightly.

„It‘s overwhelming, suddenly being able to hear all these things, smell all these things, _sense_ all these things,” Yifan murmurs comfortingly as Yixing clings to his side. „Don’t beat yourself up over it, we all struggle at first.”

„Did you too?” Yixing asks, more to keep himself distracted rather than out of proper curiosity, but the moment the words are out he realises that he actually has no idea how or when Yifan was turned.

„Kind of. Back then, there were no cities such as this one, so the night was mostly calm. But the days—even hidden away inside, the days were way too much to handle.”

„How long did it take you until you were okay with everything?”

Yifan turns pensive, and Yixing can tell he’s no longer seeing the grey buildings they walk past but rather a time long gone. When Yifan answers, there’s a weight to his words.

„It took a while.”

Yixing grimaces.

Despite Yixing’s struggles with the city, Yifan has not once suggested that they should simply head back to the Scandinavian forests they came from, and for that Yixing is eternally grateful. Instead of taking the easy way out, Yifan stays by his side and takes care of him, doing everything he can to help Yixing adjust. Yixing really doesn’t wish to continue burdening Yifan like this for much longer.

„Don’t worry, you should be fine faster than me. It’s been a few years already since you were turned, so you’re at least somewhat used to your elevated senses. And you’re not alone.”

That makes Yixing stop in his tracks, and since he’s holding onto Yifan’s arm tightly, it brings Yifan to a halt as well. He turns to look at Yixing questioningly, but Yixing is just staring back at him with wide eyes.

„You were?” Yixing asks, incredulous. „Alone, I mean.”

It’s unthinkable for Yixing. If a vampire is turned by their lover, it is a given that they will have someone by their side, and if they get turned by a coven leader, they will have the entire coven to care for them until they are able to stand on their own legs—both figuratively _and_ literally, in some cases.

Of course there are occasional cases where a vampire gets turned by neither their lover nor a coven leader, but these cases are incredibly rare. And even then it is simply an unwritten rule that the one who turned them will stay with the fledgling to help them through the transitioning process. Yixing doesn’t know what he would have done if he had woken up by himself, with no one to guide him. In a place as overwhelming as a bigger city, nonetheless.

Yifan looks conflicted for a split second, then he shrugs.

„It were different times, back then.”

His tone is dismissive, a clear sign that he doesn’t intend to speak any more on the topic. Yixing wants to ask further, but he also doesn’t wish to pry. Perhaps one day Yifan will tell him about his past, of his own volition.

For now, Yixing lets himself be guided into motion again as they start back towards Yifan’s apartment.

⧜

As Yifan predicted, Yixing does get better with the city. Much better. After a month, he feels so good, in fact, that he can barely even remember anymore why he struggled in the first place.

The life, the pulse of the city thrumming right beneath his fingertips, like delicious blood pumping right beneath a thin layer of skin—Yixing loves it all. After he gets used to dealing with the flood of sensory impressions, he starts recalling what he used to appreciate about the city life, and why he wanted to go back.

Most of all, he loves the clubs. As a human, he always enjoyed dancing, and he hadn’t realised how much he missed it until he gets to move again to the deep thrum of the bass. All eyes are on him when he’s on the dance floor, and Yixing revels in all the attention.

Especially since all eyes does mean _all_ eyes _._

Yifan is not a club person, Yixing knew that even before they came to London, but Yifan still always accompanies Yixing when he does go out. He doesn’t have to, Yixing has told him that many times before. Yixing is no helpless fledgling anymore, and neither is he as naive as he used to be. He won’t get himself into any dangerous situations just that easily. At the clubs Yixing likes to frequent, vampires from other covens will usually be around as well, but none of them ever make a move to attack, or even just provoke Yixing, and Yixing doesn’t try to stir up trouble either. Huang Lei’s name is enough to scare off most vampires already either way.

Yet, Yifan always insists on coming. At first, Yixing wonders if it is some sort of overactive protective instinct their initial meeting combined with Yixing’s struggle to adjust had awoken in Yifan. However he quickly realises that Yifan does not accompany him because he is worried about Yixing ending up in a fight with other vampires. Once Yixing starts dancing, and he feels those dark, piercing eyes on him, it’s all too obvious. With a smirk on his lips, Yixing always makes sure to put on a particularly good show when he knows that Yifan is watching him.

That’s the only thing Yifan ever does, though—watch.

The humans Yixing is sharing the dance floor with, however, tend to be a lot bolder. They will join him, and Yixing entertains them. There is an almost hypnotic quality to the sway of bodies around him, a wordless conversation that ebbs and flows and leaves Yixing’s head rushing with excitement. More often than not their intentions are rather obvious, but Yixing always draws a line before anything can progress to far. He has no interest in any of them, after all. For dancing, yes. For basking in their attention? Of course. But nothing more.

As much as Yixing still refuses to disentangle his feelings when it comes to Yifan, there is one thing he knows with absolute certainty: He has no interest in finding a human to be his mate. It doesn’t even matter to him that Yifan evidently does not wish for a mate—else he surely would not have stopped looking. For Yixing, just getting to be around Yifan is enough. It’s all he needs, so he has no use for humans trying to get with him.

And during those nights in the club, with Yifan there with him, Yixing can still allow himself to pretend, at least. Yifan has enough money to get himself a seat in the VIP area, overlooking the dance floor. When he’s dancing, Yixing will send winks in Yifan’s direction. They never get any response, aside from perhaps a slight narrowing of Yifan’s eyes, as if his frown deepens. Somehow, that only makes Yixing’s smirk widen. It’s like a challenge, asking him to move his body even more provocatively. So he does.

To his surprise—and delight—Yixing discovers that even as a vampire, he can still get drunk on alcohol. It’s not as if Yixing is dependent on it for having a good time at the club, but he enjoys the buzz, and how it helps shut up the incessant voices in his head for a bit.  

When he has had enough of dancing, or simply wants a break, Yixing leaves the dance floor and all the other swaying bodies behind without sparing them a single thought. His favourite part of every night is when he gets to go up to Yifan and drape himself all over the older vampire. Yixing clings to him as if Yifan is his and he has to show it so everyone else will back off. Which, somehow, is exactly what he’s doing, even when Yixing has no right to. After all, Yifan is not _his_.

But with the intoxication running through his veins, mixing with the exhilaration of dancing, Yixing finds he has very little self-restraint left. And Yifan—Yifan let’s Yixing do as he pleases. He never shrugs him off, never reprimands him, never tells him to stop fooling around or teasing him.

Instead, he even indulges Yixing and his advances. When the night progresses, a hand will come to rest around Yixing’s waist more often than not. Yifan’s face will remain emotionless, as if the gesture is completely natural and nothing out of the ordinary but Yixing catches the glances he shoots at the humans and vampires alike who dare to look at them. Perhaps Yifan is concerned with Yixing’s reputation, not wanting leering gazes to land on him, but Yixing likes to read a tad of possessiveness into Yifan’s hold.

⧜ 

Yixing does not expect to run into trouble per se, but he always figured that if he were to, it would be within the vicinity of a club. With the majority of the people present inebriated, the threshold for any sort of emotion to reach a boiling point is decidedly lowered. In all the months he’s been frequenting these places, Yixing has witnessed a fair share of confrontations, from rather harmless lovers‘ spats to fights that escalated into outright brawls in the small alley behind the club, although most times people would simply be shouting at each other with a considerable slur to their words.

Yixing knows that he draws attention to himself, and not all of it is benevolent. Yifan’s presence by his side usually nips any sort of confrontation in the bud. No one in their sane mind would dare challenge him, but Yixing still expects that at one point, someone will either not care about Yifan’s authority or they will simply be too drunk to notice it.

However, Yifan starts leaving London every few months, for a week or two at a time, to meet up with old friends of his and attend business he claims Yixing would only find boring. Yixing isn’t sure if that’s the case, but he never argues, reasoning that if Yifan wanted him to join he would ask for it. Without Yifan’s protective arm around his waist, Yixing witnesses many humans getting a lot bolder.

Yet it’s not in the club, nor right outside of it, that Yixing is first met with confrontation. Instead, he’s at Junmyeon’s house, a vampire he befriended a few months after moving to London. The other is around Lu Han’s age but his mate, Sehun, has been a vampire for a year less than Yixing. It’s refreshing for Yixing to be around someone who’s as new to this all as he is, which is what draws him towards the couple in the first place. Every now and then Sehun will join Yixing in the club, but Junmyeon prefers staying at home. Which is weird for Yixing, at first, considering how insistent Yifan is on always coming along.

When Yixing had voiced his confusion, sitting together with Junmyeon while Sehun was getting ready in the bathroom, the other vampire had just laughed. “I’m not really a club person, and there’s little need for me to be there either. No one would dare approach Sehun, he practically oozes my presence. I was the one who turned him, and that’s a bond everyone can sense. It will keep unwanted attention away from him.”

Yixing and Yifan do not share such a bond, far from it. Yifan never turned him, so perhaps he can only count on his physical presence to have the same effect Junmyeon’s bond with Sehun has? To ward off anyone who could try and claim Yixing. It’s a thought Yixing quickly forces himself to discard since it’s nothing but wishful thinking. He’s assuming intentions behind Yifan’s actions that are probably far from the truth, and that will not do anyone any good, least of all himself.

It is one of the nights that Yifan is in London that Junmyeon is hosting a small gathering—although ‘small’, in Junmyeon’s terms, apparently means half the vampire population of London. Not that Yixing minds all the unfamiliar faces. He thrives amongst strangers, very unlike Yifan. As much as Yixing always longs for Yifan’s company, he can’t help feeling a bit relieved that Yifan is currently out of town. Else he might have felt obligated to attend out of politeness, and Yixing is certain that he would have been drained within five minutes of arriving.

Yixing spends the night moving from standing with acquaintances to catching up with friends to talking with vampires he’s never seen before. The alcohol Junmyeon prepared is way superior to the one he gets served in the clubs most days, and Yixing’s directness increases by the hour and glass he empties.  

He’s caught in a conversation with a few vampires, all unmated like him, when he slips up, without ever realising that it is a slip-up to begin with. They started out talking about how long they’ve been in London, and where they lived before that. Yixing, only ever having lived in Changsha, London and with his coven can’t really offer much to the conversation, but he’s more than happy just listening to the others talk.

 _Perhaps we should move to Prague next,_ he thinks. It’s not as if he has tired of London yet—not by a long shot—but with the stories the others are telling, he can’t stop his mind from wandering. There is something warm blossoming in Yixing’s chest as he imagines himself and Yifan moving to other cities, together.

He is so caught up in thoughts that he completely misses the shift in conversation topic, but when he next pays proper attention, a female vampire standing to his left is complaining about how difficult it is to find a suitable human partner.

“As soon as you meet your mate, you’re supposed to _know_ if they’re right, but it’s just. Such a tedious search,” she bemoans, earning a row of agreeing hums and groans, and “tell me about it”s.

Yixing, himself, stays silent. It’s not as if he can really relate to their woes.

“Hey, Yixing,” one of them, a male only a few decades older than Yixing himself, addresses him, “I heard from Sehun that you often go to clubs. Do you think it’s easier to find one’s mate there?”

Yixing knows that if the question had been posed from human to human, and asked about the likelihood of finding a (sexual) partner, the answer would have been a definite yes. As a vampire, being asked about a mate, however, Yixing is definitely the wrong person to turn to. With a sheepish laugh, he replies truthfully. “Sorry, I don’t know, I never looked for one.”

That catches everyone’s attention.

“You never looked for a mate? As in, ever?” the same guy asks, incredulous.

Yixing simply nods his head and hums in affirmation.

“Because of Yifan?” one of them asks, a middle-aged looking woman with gentle features.

Yixing vaguely knows her, they have exchanged a few pleasant conversations on various occasions and even though Yixing wouldn’t exactly call them friends, he still finds her presence quite comfortable. It’s why he doesn’t immediately deflect, but rather lets out a little embarrassed laugh. He rubs his neck before answering.

“I guess?”

The question directed at him had been innocent curiosity, with no ill-intend behind it and no judgement when Yixing replies. The same can’t be said about the reaction Yixing gets from everyone in their small circle. Next to Yixing, someone gasps and when Yixing turns towards the vampire in question, he’s met with a shocked stare. He doesn’t even get to process what exactly he’s done for the other to look downright offended.

“What is _wrong_ with you,” the other sneers, revealing their sharp teeth as their mouth twists with distaste. It clearly is an accusation, more than it is a question. “Who would prefer rotten flesh to getting to feel a warm body and taste fresh blood, when they have the choice? You’re someone of _status_ , any human you lay claim to? No one would dare so much as look in their direction anymore.”

But Yixing doesn’t want a human. He wants Yifan.

It’s as simple as that.

⧜

Even though the apartment they moved into once Yixing had gotten used to the city is way bigger—big enough to house at least six people comfortably—Yixing continues to share a room, and, consequently, a bed with Yifan. What originally was meant to help calm him when his senses were overwhelmed with all the impressions bombarding him has grown into a comfortable habit that Yixing is unwilling to part with. Yifan never complains, or suggests that they should each inhabit a room of their own, so Yixing assumes that he must be okay with their arrangement as well.

When Yixing returns home after the party, he can’t help but notice that their room feels way emptier than it did when he left. With a sigh, he flops face first onto the bed. He just lies there for a few minutes, letting his muscles relax into the mattress. At Junmyeon’s house, he’d still been feeling the pleasant buzz of slight inebriation, but that has made way to nothing but tiredness. It’s not as if Yixing really cares what a random vampire thinks of him for not wanting a human mate—although he can’t deny that there’s some unexpectedly protective part of his that strongly reacted to having Yifan be insulted as “rotten flesh”. He hadn’t really wished to fight, however, and he still does not. Yet he is upset, even though he can’t begin to make sense of why the events of the night unsettled him ot this degree.

With a groan, Yixing rolls onto his back and takes his phone out of his pockets. He blankly stares at Yifan’s name in his contact list for what must be minutes. On a whim, he taps the messaging option. The screen that greets him is blank—even though Yixing managed to convince Yifan of the advantages of owning a smartphone, they’ve never messaged each other so far. There has never been a real need for it, since they spend most of their time together, and Yixing isn’t too fond of typing out messages. If he really has to contact Yifan for whatever reason, he’d usually just call him.

_When are you coming back?_

He doesn’t mean to send the text—or any text in general, really, but especially not _that_ text. Yifan has been gone for all of four days, and Yixing used to go entire weeks without seeing him. Not once has he asked Yifan when he would be back. Even though Yixing knows that, if given the choice between being with or being without Yifan, he’d always choose the former, he usually is fine with the latter too. This is not the first time Yifan has been gone to meet some of his friends to talk about matters that Yixing is not privy to, and Yixing has never minded.

Sometimes Yixing suspects that Yifan’s main purpose for going on these trips is to be on his own for a few days. After all, he went from centuries of solitude to having Yixing around him nearly all the time. It’s a sobering thought, and Yixing knows he should tell Yifan that if he gets exhausted with the city—or Yixing’s constant company—he can go any time he wants. Having agreed to come with Yixing was not a promise binding him until Yixing himself tires of the city. Yifan has a strong sense of honour, and he will always be true to his word, so he might feel obligated to stay even when he wishes to roam free on his own. Yet, Yixing can’t bring himself to actually speak up for fear that Yifan would take him up on the offer of leaving. It’s selfish and Yixing never took himself for being a selfish person, but with Yifan...

Yixing looks at the bubble on his side of the conversation and wills it to give him the answer how he can unravel this mess he has managed to get himself into. Yifan does not wish to have a mate—else he surely would not have stopped looking for one. And if Yifan were to wish for a mate, of course he would want a human. If tonight showed Yixing one thing, it’s that he is the odd one out, for not desiring a human companion.

The other vampire told him that Yixing could have his free choice of humans with his status. A status he obtained without ever earning it, simply by inheritance because he is part of a prestigious coven. If that is the case then Yifan, whose status is comparable to a coven leader, surely would be even more entitled to any mate he could want.

When Yixing’s phones vibrates, he starts.

_Is something wrong?_

At first, Yixing’s brain doesn’t compute the words. Even after sending the text, he hadn’t expected Yifan to reply, especially not this fast. In his restlessness, Yixing had wasted away so much time since coming home that it is two hours past sunrise already, a time when Yifan would usually be fast asleep.

His heart leaps slightly in excitement at talking to Yifan for the first time in days. Yes, it’s not a simple crush, but Yixing is no longer oblivious to the draw he feels towards Yifan. Even he can’t be that thick-headed.

 _No, everything is fine,_ he types and sends, well aware that this is no explanation as for why he texted Yifan out of the blue.

 _I just miss you_ , he types, but doesn’t send.

It is the truth, the reason why he contacted Yifan when he usually wouldn’t. It’s why he asked when Yifan would be back, too, so he’ll know for how much longer he has to go without Yifan.

The alcohol still in his veins must have compelled him to type out the words, but he is unable to hit the send button. He just looks at the words, almost with fascination as he realises just how true they are. Yes, he misses Yifan.

_I should be able to wrap things up here tomorrow, then I would be back the day after._

The message catches Yixing by surprise, and he almost hits send by accident. If his heart was still beating, Yixing is sure his pulse would be going a mile a minute from almost slipping up, and he scrambles to sit properly. He suddenly feels a lot more awake and alert than he did a few moments ago.

Usually Yifan would be gone for at least one whole week, more often even two. Him coming back after just six days is unusual. Was that his original plan all along or did Yixing’s message...?

Yixing stops himself from following that train of thought any further. It’s a dangerous territory to tread when he’s already letting himself indulge in so many illusions to begin with.

_Did things go smoothly?_

Yixing doesn’t know enough details about what Yifan does when he’s gone, but that’s the only logical explanation he can come up with for Yifan’s early return. That, or that things went so spectacularly wrong that there’s no use in staying and fixing them.

_More or less._

Yixing is already typing a response when another message plops up on Yifan’s side.

_And I miss London._

Yixing’s fingers halt, and he blinks. Just when he had resolved himself to not read into things.

Yifan does not like big cities. He is with Yixing, and he never complains about London. Yifan is willing to let himself be swept up in the constant thrum of life in the city, but with everything Yixing has learned about Yifan, he cannot imagine the older vampire actually _missing_ London _._ In fact, he doesn’t think Yifan misses any place, ever. With how easily he agreed to come with Yixing to the city, he must not be very attached to anywhere.

A small smile settles on Yixing’s lips and he closes his eyes to take three deep breaths. It’s a habit of his that he always resorts to in moments when he knows his pulse would have been racing, and even though his heart no longer beats, and the oxygen no longer fills his lungs, the mere motion still calms him down.

Should he... let himself believe? It is unlikely, near impossible, but Yixing has never known Yifan to be anything but true to his own feelings. If he says something so clearly out of character, it has to mean something...right?

A few minutes pass with Yixing collecting himself, but once he does, he types out his reply without hesitation.

_London misses you too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is wayyyyy way way too late, but I promise I won't make you wait as long again. Last chapter is written already and will be posted next weekend!
> 
> Also, the rating of this story has changed due to a very brief r-scene in the next chapter, just so you're warned!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The rating has been changed to "M" bc of a very brief scene in this chapter

Against Yixing’s initial plans, they don’t move to Prague next. Instead, they find themselves in Tangiers. The city is smaller than London, way, way smaller, but Yixing loves it nonetheless—or perhaps he loves it exactly because of that. Yifan is a lot more relaxed in Tangiers than he used to be in London, and Yixing doesn’t mind having a quieter lifestyle again. They only stay for a couple of years, however, before they move to Amsterdam, and then Rome next. After that it’s Trier, and Domburg and Kilkenny and Kiev and Naples.

Half a century passes like this, with them moving all over Europe, staying anything between a few months to nearly a decade in the places they go to. Most of their time is spent in bigger, nameable cities, but every now and then they’ll settle in small villages. Mainly for Yifan’s sake. Neither of them explicitly mentions it, but they both know.

There are a lot of things they don’t explicitly mention, in fact, with both of them still being well aware of what is going on. After all the years that have passed, after all the places they’ve been to, Yifan, famed for preferring his solitary nature, is still by Yixing’s side. And he shows no sign of wishing to leave.

⧜

Eventually, they end up in Budapest. Most of the apartments they’ve stayed in have belonged to Huanglei’s coven, or friends of theirs they made along the way. Budapest is an exception. The apartment is one of Yifan’s, which means it’s more on the modest side. It’s bigger than Yifan’s hideout he first took Yixing to back in London, but it’s still functional more than it is pompous. Located near the old city centre, the building Yifan leads Yixing to looks as if it’s at least a few hundred years old. And, as it turns out, the apartment has been in Yifan’s possession for just as long.

“When I first came to Europe, I lived in Budapest,” Yifan mentions, conversationally, as he unlocks their apartment.

“Really? When was that?”

“1466.”

Yifan enters the apartment and leaves a gaping Yixing behind. He knows Yifan is old, but whenever Yixing is reminded of it, it takes him a few moments to wrap his head around it. _1466_. That was still during the Middle Ages.

Yifan doesn’t often talk about his past. Yixing still isn’t sure whether it’s because he doesn’t like talking about himself, or whether it’s simply that the past has little significance for Yifan. Having lived for as long as he has, Yifan has accumulated so many memories that each individual one might barely hold any special meaning anymore. Perhaps it’s a mixture of both.

“Why did you come to Europe?” Yixing asks when he finally follows after Yifan, caught by a sudden boldness to seize the chance of learning more about Yifan. “Being Chinese around Europeans at that time can’t have been easy.”

To his surprise, Yifan laughs. It doesn’t sound humourless, nor does it sound mocking, but it’s also not an entirely happy laugh. “Neither was being a vampire trying to blend in with humans, so I already had a lot of experience with not drawing attention to myself either way.”

Yixing almost expects that to be the end of the conversation. After centuries of keeping to himself, staying secluded from most other vampires, it is to be expected that Yifan is not exactly comfortable with opening up. With Yifan’s reaction, Yixing fears he might have hit a sore spot that Yifan does not wish to speak about further. Whatever made him leave China might not be a very fond memory.

So Yixing is very surprised when Yifan actually does continue. “I came to Europe because I couldn’t really stay in China. Or rather, I didn’t want to. The only time I ever saw my maker was when they turned me. I know they survived for at least another millennia after that, but then their trace just faded away. I don’t know if they died or just chose to disappear, and it doesn’t really matter. What mattered was that they didn’t have a good reputation, and even though I had never actually been involved with them, I carried a faint hint of their scent. It’s something that can’t be helped since they turned me, but for some people that flimsy bond to my maker was enough to disapprove of my very existence.”

Yixing opens his mouth, as if to say something. Perhaps an apology on behalf of people he never met and who were never his responsibility, perhaps call them stupid for judging Yifan for something out of his control or perhaps just express his indignation at Yifan having been treated unfairly. He doesn’t get the chance to speak up however because Yifan stops him with a raised hand.

“It’s okay. I have had centuries to get over it, and I don’t care about their opinions anymore. Holding onto grudges for so long is just tiring, and at one point you’ll realise it’s best to just let it go. But still, the mood was tense among vampires in China in the 15th century, and with me not wishing to pledge allegiance to any coven, I was regarded as a traitor by many. A threat, even, to some, even though I never tried to interfere with anyone’s business. So getting away was simply the best choice at that time.”

Yifan speaks with the detachment of recounting someone else’s story, but Yixing sees something in his eyes that says it wasn’t exactly an easy decision to make back then. It’s an impulsive thing to do, but before Yixing knows what he’s doing he’s reached out for Yifan’s hand. Yifan’s eyebrows rise in surprise at the touch, but he doesn’t draw away. In fact, he squeezes back when Yixing wraps his fingers around Yifan’s. Yixing even throws in a small smile that expresses both comfort and encouragement to go on, and Yifan looks almost grateful.

“Of course I couldn’t own any property at that time, not when I was obviously not from around Budapest. But I had friends here, who offered to support me until I found my footing. They bought this place for me, and eventually, when it was no longer impossible for rich Chinese merchants to acquire apartments in foreign countries, I got a contract with my name on it.”

“Being in Europe in the 15th century wasn’t too bad, actually,” Yifan continues. “Hiding in the night was definitely a lot easier then. I don’t think any human ever even noticed I wasn’t European. With ill-lit streets at night and a hood drawn deeply into my face, there was no way to tell where I was born.”

It feels weird for Yixing to think about Yifan having been alive already in the days before the invention of electricity, when the world was dark at night even in bigger cities. He very vaguely remembers his history lessons, but they never really focussed on Europe during the Middle Ages, so Yixing finds it hard to imagine what life was like back then.

“Do you want a drink?” Yifan suddenly says, looking at Yixing expectantly.

Yixing doesn’t usually drink much outside of the context of going out, but he can sense that there’s more to Yifan’s suggestion than simply sharing a glass of whisky. So he nods, and takes a seat when Yifan directs him towards the couch in the living room.

“I am certain I have some whisky stashed away that was confiscated from a smuggler’s boat a few centuries ago. While I doubt that the time has improved its taste, it at least shouldn’t have been detrimental either.”

Yifan disappears into a room that must be the kitchen—Yixing hasn’t gotten a tour of the apartment yet, but he figures that can wait. The chance of learning more about Yifan’s past is way more tempting than finding out what colour the tiles in the bathroom have.

Minutes later, Yifan returns with an unopened bottle of amber liquid, and two glasses that he must have freshly polished for how shiny they are. He fills both just a finger’s breadth before handing one to Yixing. They touch glasses, and after taking one burning sip, Yifan shifts until he’s sitting half-facing Yixing. His eyes are serious, but the small smile on his lips speaks of encouragement.

“I know I don’t usually talk about my past, but if you’re curious, you can ask. I’ve been told my French Revolution stories are quite fascinating, for example.”

It’s an offer Yixing is all too happy to take Yifan up on. They spend the entire night sat on the couch, emptying the whisky bottle between them and exchanging memories. Yifan was there for the majority of Yixing’s life, Yixing realises, but he still listens intently whenever Yixing speaks about his human years. In Yixing’s opinion, it has nothing on Yifan remembering historical events Yixing learned about in textbooks, but Yifan disagrees. He asks, and lets himself be asked, and before they know it, the sun is already creeping over the horizon.

⧜

Life in Budapest is decelerated. It still is a big city, especially when Yixing thinks back to the northern wilderness he spent his fledgling years in, but Budapest doesn’t even get close to the bustle of some of the other places they’ve stayed in over the last half decade. The nights are still full of life, and there is a very active club scene too, but Yixing finds himself longing for a little slowness. Instead of strobe lights, thrumming beats and sweating bodies, Yixing seeks out the ruin pubs and listens to Yifan tell stories of when the now run-down buildings were still standing in their full glory.

The Szechenyi Bath turns out to be one of Yixing’s new favourite places, because during the week after nightfall there will not be many people around, which Yifan likes, and Yixing simply loves the water. He also cannot deny that he enjoys how Yifan’s eyes linger on him whenever he climbs out of the water and pushes his wet hair out of the way. It much resembles the gazes he would cast at Yixing in London’s nightclubs, so many years ago. There’s less possessiveness now though, possibly since there’s no suitors Yixing has to ward off. In its place, there is something Yixing can only describe as suppressed desire.

It ignites a simmering flame inside Yixing, one that flickers and soars whenever he gets close to Yifan. Whenever he‘s not, it stays dormant like a smouldering ember that warms Yixing on a cold winter night. After decades of being caught in a constant dance of forth and back with Yifan, they’ve come to a halt hovering right in front of each other. The indescribable pull that Yixing feels towards Yifan—he‘s not the only one feeling it, Yixing is certain of that. It is an unspoken understanding between them, that there is _something_.

And still, for whatever reason, Yifan seems to restrain himself. It‘s the only explanation Yixing can think of, when he catches those eyes on him but Yifan does nothing, no matter how encouraging Yixing‘s actions are. Yixing considered taking the initiative himself, but no matter how comfortable he and Yifan are, a small shard of fear is still embedded in Yixing‘s heart. He does not worry about his feelings being unrequited, but he worries that he will still push Yifan away if he is too brazen. Instead, he soaks up whatever he can get, and resigns himself to waiting until Yifan is ready, even if it might take another couple of decades. It‘s not like he has time to run out of.

So Yixing is caught off-guard, when one night, Yifan suddenly reaches for his hand. Physical contact is not entirely unprecedented between them—Yifan often resorts to small gestures to comfort Yixing when words fail him—but this is different. Yixing is not distressed, he‘s not overwhelmed by his senses or confronted with hostile vampires. In fact, the last time either of those instances happened and Yifan had to calm him down must have been decades ago already. He has adjusted to his new existence as a vampire by now, rarely requiring Yifan‘s guidance anymore. There is no reason evident to Yixing as for why Yifan would link their fingers together.

It has become one of their favourite pastimes, to simply stroll around the lit-up city centre or alongside the Danube river and admire the architecture side by side. The weather has been warming up, and it is the first pleasant spring night without harsh biting wind, so people are milling all around them. He and Yifan blend in easily with all the tourists, and Yixing likes the slightly busier atmosphere. It has him in a particularly good mood, dominating most of their conversation, so Yixing briefly considers that perhaps, Yifan is simply trying to interrupt his barrage of words. But when he tilts his head towards Yifan, a smile and an apology on his lips for having rambled on too much, he is met with Yifan looking straight at him. There is an intensity to his gaze, and the smile slowly slips from Yixing‘s face.

They come to a halt under the orange light the lanterns cast in the middle of the promenade. Yixing vaguely thinks he hears some people cursing when they almost bump into them, but the voices are drowned out, insignificant in the face of Yifan‘s gaze on him. Yixing‘s mouth hangs open slightly, as if readying itself for words to fall out, but he remains silent. Yifan doesn‘t speak up either, but his eyes say everything. They always have, and Yixing swallows around his dry throat.

He does not need to breathe, and yet he inhales, and let’s the instinctual movement calm him. Yixing‘s chest is tight, with something that might be fear, or it might be exhilaration. He cannot make sense of his emotions, but at the same time he can feel a giddy rush starting from the tip of his fingers and spreading through his entire body. The pull in his chest that he‘s been carrying with him since he first woke up as a vampire, sings in elation. It‘s like a puzzle piece that has fallen into place after nearly a century. Experimentally, he squeezes Yifan‘s hand, and Yifan squeezes back. For the rest of their walk they are silent, but there is no awkwardness. Instead, the silence is filled with crackling anticipation, as if static electricity permeates the air between them.

The moment they step over the threshold of their apartment, the tension breaks. They haven’t even closed the door yet when Yifan already pulls Yixing into his arms and kisses him. Yixing only barely registers Yifan pushing the door shut with his foot. Instead, Yixing is too busy focusing on Yifan’s hands moving up and down his sides, gliding over his lower back and shoulder blades, up to his neck where one of them comes to a halt. Yifan angles there kiss while supporting Yixing’s head, and Yixing’s fingers helplessly curl into the fabric of the jacket Yifan is still wearing.

His own coat, despite being a light coat intended for spring, feels too hot, something Yixing hasn’t experienced in so long he can’t even remember when the last time was. Outside temperature does not affect them. They only wear the coats to blend in, and in summer they go for tank tops and loose pants for the same reason, not because they actually feel the warmth of the sun. No, the heat that makes Yixing wish to discard his coat—and all other clothes—right there and then has nothing to do with the ambient temperature, because it comes all from within him. Or perhaps, it comes from Yifan, because his touch seems to burn Yixing wherever it makes contact with his skin.

Somehow, in a joint effort, they manage to get out of their coats and shoes without having to part, and then they’re stumbling through the apartment in the direction of the bedroom. It is almost a miracle that they don’t break anything on their way there, since Yixing slams into at least three cupboards and Yifan almost knocks over a small table.

Yixing hooks his arms around Yifan when they finally reach the bed, making them fall onto the mattress in an ungraceful heap of tangled limbs. His brain barely has time to catch up before Yixing is already naked, moaning Yifan’s name as he rocks his hips to meet Yifan’s thrusts. Everything is frenzied and desperate, with Yixing clawing at Yifan’s back and Yifan’s fingers digging into Yixing’s thighs as he folds him in half.

Afterwards, they lie together in bed with Yixing nestled into Yifan’s side. He cannot think straight, the rush still coursing through his body, but there’s something he just has to ask.

„Why now?“

The silence barely breaks around Yixing‘s words for how breathy they are spoken. No matter how much he welcomes what happened between them just now, how much he’s _longed_ for it for more years than he can care to count, he cannot deny that he’s confused. There was nothing about today that was out of the ordinary, so why. Why now.

Next to him, Yifan twists until he can look at Yixing. Yixing remembers how unreadable Yifan‘s eyes used to be, how guarded. Now he feels as if he can look straight through them, right into Yifan.

„Because I woke up and I just knew that I couldn’t wait any longer.“

⧜

The shift for them is natural. With how things had been simmering between them, unsaid but always present, it should not really come as a surprise for Yixing, but he still finds himself marvelling at how little really changes. Their interactions are almost the same, their conversations too, but instead of sitting neatly next to each other on the couch, Yixing will place his legs over Yifan‘s laps and Yifan will grab his waist and kiss him at random times.

They are _dating_ , and at the same time they are not, for the term does not seem to capture the depth of their connection. Yet, Yixing also does not dare presume that they are _mates._ It carries a permanence that Yixing is not sure they have actually committed to. For Yixing, it has been clear from the beginning that he wants no one but Yifan, but he does not know if Yifan feels the same—or if Yifan even wants anyone to begin with. Perhaps Yifan sees what they have as just a transitory relationship, to keep each other company until Yixing finds a human he wishes to choose as his mate.

He does not think he has ever given Yifan any indication that he would desire a human, but at the same time he has never explicitly stated the opposite either. And he wouldn‘t have questioned their relationship either, if it wasn‘t for the vague feeling that Yifan is not fully there with him. Yixing knows that Yifan is not lying to him by pretending to be someone he is not or feel something he does not. And yet Yixing can tell that something is off, as if Yifan is still holding part of himself back. The part, Yixing presumes, that is reserved for no one but Yifan‘s _mate._

It puts a damper on the exuberant excitement that overwhelmed Yixing when Yifan first kissed him. Yixing thought, that as unconventional as they might be as a pair, they had finally fully found one another. Now, the doubts Yixing thought he had grown out of come crushing back over him, all of them, and Yixing struggles to push them aside again. In the end, he realises that he can‘t, not anymore. He is happy, he really is, and he wants to be with Yifan even if for Yifan they are only temporary. But they owe it to each other to be on the same page.

Still, Yixing does not know how to bring it up, or when. He waits for the perfect situation, which, unsurprisingly, refuses to happen. Whenever he‘s with Yifan, his entire being sings with contentment, and no matter how strongly he longs for clarity, his desire to enjoy their closeness always wins out. If he were to breach the topic of mates, it would disrupt the atmosphere, and Yixing doesn’t find the strength to do so. Months pass like this, almost a year.

Strangely enough, Yixing eventually understands what Yifan meant with „I woke up and just knew.“ because that is precisely what happens to him. One afternoon, Yixing wakes up on his own. He is disoriented at first, neither knowing why he woke up or where Yifan is, but then he registers the noises coming from the bathroom and calms down. Overwhelmed by a sense of clarity, Yixing simply blurts the words out the moment Yifan returns to the bedroom.

„What are we?“

Yifan stills in the doorframe, hair sticking in every direction from sleep. He looks at Yixing with clear confusion. Without any context for the question, Yixing almost expects Yifan to reply „Vampires?“, but Yifan‘s brain wakes up just in time to stop himself. Yifan‘s expression shifts from sleepy to wary, and Yixing‘s chest tightens painfully. Yifan looks as if he‘s preparing himself for a blow, and Yixing does not think whether he expects to get hurt, or if he‘s steeling himself for hurting Yixing.

„What do you mean?“ Yifan asks slowly, walking over to sit on the mattress next to Yixing.

Yixing has shifted upright and is leaning against the headboard, so they‘re almost at eye-level. Just looking at Yifan‘s guarded gaze, it is obvious that he has a very good idea where the conversation might be heading. It still doesn‘t make it easier to get the words out for Yixing. Especially since now that he has finally opened the conversation, he realises he has not prepared what to say.

He wishes to remain calm, because losing his nerves will just make this talk harder, but everything within his system is fighting against him. This might put a distance between him and Yifan that Yixing hasn‘t experienced in decades, and every fibre of his being balks at the very idea that he could be actively work towards that.

Backtracking, Yixing decides to take a different approach.

„Why did you never take a human mate?“

All the years they spent together, Yixing quietly wondered about it, but this is the first time Yixing has ever voiced the question out loud.

Something like sorrow hushes through Yifan‘s eyes, both raw and centuries old, as if he remembers a lover lost, and Yixing suddenly wishes he had never asked. Perhaps he does not wish to know. Perhaps he is not ready to hear he‘s just a replacement, for the true love Yifan couldn‘t keep.

„I never found them.“

It‘s not the response Yixing expected to hear, and so he only looks at Yifan, until Yifan continues.

„I looked, and looked, and looked, but I never found them. We are supposed to recognise our soulmates, but no matter how many humans I met, none of them were the one.“

Everyone always assumed that Yifan simply had no interest in a mate, and if he once did, that was a long, long time ago. However, Yifan does not say that he ever stopped looking, so Yixing‘s mouth moves before his brain can catch up. „Are you still? Looking for your human mate, I mean.“

„Aren‘t you?“ Yifan counters, his voice as small as if Yixing‘s answer will make or break him and yet he sounds resigned, as if he already knows his fate.

Slowly, holding Yifan‘s gaze, Yixing shakes his head. „I do not wish to find a human mate.“

Yixing realises it‘s the first time he ever said so out loud to Yifan.

„I never have,“ he adds. „I have only ever wanted you.“

Yifan looks at him without saying anything for so long that Yixing starts fidgeting under his gaze, his resolution crumbling away. Was he too blunt? Too direct? Did he put Yifan on the spot with being so serious when Yifan was just looking for someone to fool around with?

Rejection stings painfully in Yixing‘s heart as he readies himself to assure Yifan that he fully understands if Yifan does not want that kind of relationship. He never expected him to, since the lasting bond of mates is supposed to be formed between a vampire and a human, not between two vampires. The words never make it past his lips, however, because the next moment Yifan is leaning over and kissing him so hard Yixing is glad he no longer needs oxygen.

⧜

Just as Yixing had feared that he was just a pastime for Yifan, Yifan had feared that Yixing would leave him for a human, eventually. In retrospect, the pieces all fall together and everything makes sense to Yixing. For him, it had been obvious from the very beginning that he wanted to be with Yifan, but from an outsider‘s perspective, he was merely a young vampire exploring the new world he found himself in with a mentor by his side. According to the normal pattern, he would start looking for a human to turn and spend eternity with eventually. And no matter how aware Yifan had been of Yixing‘s attraction to him, he misinterpreted it as Yixing only looking for a little excitement and closeness until he found his real soulmate.

So, while Yixing worried that Yifan would eventually grow tired of his company, Yifan was trying to ready himself for going back to being alone the moment Yixing found his soulmate because he didn‘t want to hold him back.

From that night onward, the tension has been visibly lifted from Yifan. And if Yixing thought him affectionate before that, he gets to discover a whole new side now that Yifan is no longer holding himself back.

Everything has settled. After almost a century, the pull in Yixing‘s chest fully subsides. He has reached his goal. Yixing did what Yanli told him to, he let it guide him, and it guided him well. Day after day, night after night, Yixing gets to be with Yifan. They continue moving from country to country, and with Yifan, Yixing feels complete. He is happy.

So, Yixing really does not expect to feel homesickness at any point.

It’s a day in late autumn, the leaves on the maple trees outside their house having turned red. As ever so often before, Yixing has received a letter from Yanli—she writes him every now and then, as does Lu Han. They could also just send a text message, but both prefer pen and paper—perhaps since they were born in centuries when smartphones weren’t even imaginable yet. Since Huang Lei always knows where Yixing is at any given moment, sending a letter isn’t too difficult either.

There isn’t really anything special about what she has written. Nothing much happens around the coven residence—which is precisely why Huang Lei had chosen its location in the first place. The letter is just full of everyday stories, of inquiries about his own well-being and what adventures he and Yifan have been up to.

„I want to go back,” Yixing says out of the blue, standing in the middle of their living room with the letter still in his hands.

Yifan just looks at him from where he is sat in one of the armchairs, a book in his hands. He simply nods, nothing about him indicating surprise. In fact, Yixing himself is the one whose eyes widen in disbelief at his own words.

He hadn’t intended to say that. He had meant to tell Yifan about the contents of the letter, as he always did when they received one. Yet, he also can’t deny the truth of the words _._ Now that he has spoken them, he realises how badly he wants to go back. There is something in his chest that is tugging him towards the place he first awoke to his new existence, and he doesn’t really wish to resist.

⧜

„You taught me loneliness because before you, I never knew what it’s like to not be lonely.”

Yifan whispers the words against Yixing’s skin when they sit together by the cliffs, watching as the stormy sky gets painted blue in anticipation of the first rays of the rising sun. A century has passed since they jumped into the icy water from this very spot but the scenery remains virtually unchanged. It feels like an entire lifetime ago.

There’s a cave, just above the waterline where they will retreat to as soon as the first tendrils of light will creep over the horizon, but for now they remain still amongst the forces of nature. Waves crash against the stone, their noise almost deafening but Yixing could never miss Yifan’s voice, even though it is as soft as a falling feather.

Yixing turns his head, just enough to look at Yifan. He’s not surprised to find that Yifan’s eyes are focussed on him. There are so many emotions swimming in them, that Yixing finds himself choked up for a moment by it. What Yixing sees in Yifan’s expression is the other’s soul, bared to him. A raw, vulnerable openness, and trust, trust that Yixing will not harm Yifan.

He takes a shuddering breath and the scent of the ocean and the cedarwood fills his head. This is the first time in very, very long that his human instincts accidentally kicked in, but Yixing doesn’t waste too much thought on that.

He loves Yifan, there is not a single ounce of doubt about that. There never was a human soulmate for Yixing, because his soulmate was human long, long before Yixing was ever born. Yifan is the one he will spend eternity with, Yixing knows that with every fibre of his being. And _yet_. He finds himself scared for a split second, unable to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. Making himself so vulnerable—it’s something Yixing never was good at.

With all those centuries under his belt, people always assume that Yifan has ascended to a different plane of existence, where nothing can faze him anymore and he continuously maintains a state of aloof calmness. They think his emotions are subdued. They couldn’t be more wrong.

Yifan feels with an intensity Yixing cannot even begin to comprehend, as if every day of existence just made his emotions deeper, stronger. Sometimes, Yixing worries that he is not worthy, that he cannot live up to the trust Yifan places in him and might hurt him without ever intending to. He worries that he might never be capable of feeling as deeply as Yifan does, when Yifan deserves to have his feelings returned with just as much intensity.

Then, Yifan’s hand wraps around his, and a small smile spreads on Yifan‘s lips.

 _It’s okay. I don’t expect you to respond. I just wanted you to know,_ the gesture reads, and suddenly Yixing’s body is moving on its own.

He leans in and kisses Yifan, softly, the pressure of their lips chaste but full of emotions.

„I will never let you be lonely again,” he says, filled with sudden determination once they part.

It’s not quite the confession he wants to say, but Yifan’s hold tightens around his hand, and Yifan kisses him again, with more purpose. Yixing easily submits to it, following Yifan’s lead as he accepts the way out of the conversation.

One day he will find the words that convey what Yifan means to him, and he’ll also have the courage to actually say them. Today is not that day, but that’s okay.

They’ll have eternity together, after all.

∞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it!! This fic was originally meant to be 6k max, but then it grew and grew and grew, and now, at 20k, I'm not 100% sure I really did it justice but I hope you guys still liked it!


End file.
